Al Bundy Athlete – Fans of Married With Children… will undoubtedly know that Al Bundy once scored 4 touchdowns in the 1966 city championship game for Polk High… and never let anyone forget the moment. The Al Bundy Athlete is the type that was the great high school athlete, but never did much, athletically, after graduation, however he will not let you forget his shinning times on the field or court.
Characteristics: You will know you are playing with or against the Al Bundy Athlete if they come to the first lower level softball game with eye black and baseball pants. Another warning sign is if you see a high school championship or team t-shirt on a guy past age 25.
Rudy Athlete – Most everyone should have seen the movie Rudy at least once in their life. It is about a kid who didn’t have the size or skills to play football, but through perseverance and tenacity he makes the Notre Dame football team as a walk-on and eventually gets into a game. The Rudy Athlete is similar in that they never had the skills or size to play on their high school team, but the Rudy Athlete comes out to play once a week and think they are the greatest athlete to ever grace the face of the earth.
Characteristics: If you see a guy trying to make Magic Johnson-esq passes, only to have them intercepted each time, you have yourself a Rudy Athlete.
Wooderson Athlete - Wooderson (played by a virtual unknown Matthew McConaughey) famously said in Dazed and Confused, “That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” The Wooderson Athlete is similar in that they feel that playing rec sports keeps them younger. They may be getting older, but the competition stays the same age.
Characteristics: Grey hair coming out from their ball cap. Knee braces and orthopedic shoes. Using teenage slang.
Bo Jackson Athlete – Bo Jackson was an amazing athlete. Maybe one of the best of all time. Had it not been for a hip injury sustained on the football field, Bo would have gone down as one of the greatest of all times… in both baseball and football. While Bo was certainly better at football, winning the Heisman Trophy in 1985, Bo played baseball because he was too good not to. The Bo Jackson Athlete plays rec sports because he is too good not to be out there playing.
Characteristics: You can spot a Bo Jackson Athlete by the sheer power and skill they display. You will notice that they don’t look like they are hustling and may not leg out a routine single, but when they get a hold of the ball it will go a country mile.
Cyndi Lauper Athlete – The Cyndi Lauper Athlete is out there because they “just want to have fun.” They either like competing or like camaraderie of their teammates. Whatever the case, their athletic skills lie somewhere in the middle of the team, but their enthusiasm is unparalleled.
Characteristics: The Cyndi Lauper Athlete is always the loudest on the court, because they are having the most fun. They are also the guy who gets there first and leaves last. They are always meeting their teammates at each timeout or between innings.
Todd Marinovich Athlete – Sports Illustrated once ran a cover story on Marinovich entitled “Bred to Be A Superstar,” that discussed Todd’s fathers involvement in his sons football playing. From birth the elder Marinovich made sure Todd ate the right foods, worked out with the right trainers and practiced the right way. Essentially Todd was groomed to be the perfect QB. The Todd Marinovich Athlete is similar in that there is heavy parental involvement in their playing. Even as an adult, they are encouraged to play sports by their parents who feel that it is a good way for them to intermingle with others.
Characteristics: The Todd Marinovich Athlete is a little socially and athletically inept. They will usually be seen playing the worst positions and relied on the least during a game. In between innings or during timeouts you may see them chasing butterflies or picking up lady bugs… their interest just isn’t there. If you run into a Todd Marinovich Athlete, have a handkerchief handy, as y0u may encounter drool.
Eagles Athlete – The band The Eagles broke up and said they wouldn’t get back together until hell froze over… then miraculously they realized the monetary benefit of playing together and “got the band back together.” The Eagles Athlete is similar in that they are playing so that they can spend time with the buddies they grew up with. It may be that they are now married and/or have kids, and their weekly game is the one chance to hang out with their friends.
Characteristics: Wedding rings. Conversations revolving around onesies. Calling each other crude, vulgar and disrespectful nicknames they have been calling each other for eons.
Therein lies the real back story on why people play rec sports. When you first encounter a rec athlete, find out which category they fall into and proceed accordingly.
Is there another reason you play rec sports? Leave a comment below.
Keep sporting!
- Who’s In First
Posts
1 comment:
As a committed rec athlete, I definitely recognize a few of these archetypes. Keep sporting!
Post a Comment